That’s the cholesterol clogging your arteries.

I used to work overnights at Walmart and nothing slapped harder on my midnight “lunch” break than a couple of red hot dogs from the Circle K, especially if their nacho cheese machine was still running.

He’s blond! He’s pissed! He’ll see you in the lists!

Legit one of the best moments of my college life was sitting on the roof of my car with a friend watching the sunset from a Margs parking lot waiting to sober up.

I’ve got some decent smithing skills, I’d go looking for bog iron and skip the bronze age.

To play devil’s advocate, is there any way you might be able to fix the Kindle? I’ve saved two for family members by swapping batteries and it’s not that hard if you have a spudger and decent set of screwdrivers.